If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize