OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the day after is always just damage control
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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