At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
