Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
