I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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