Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
