can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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