? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
