Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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