Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So many bounce houses so little time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
