Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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