quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
