the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
