Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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