Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
high people should be assigned attendants
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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