i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
