umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
its liver damage thursday
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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