if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
NoShamevember. You game?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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