Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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