i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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