Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
