Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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