the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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