Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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