Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize