I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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