I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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