I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Pooping to opera.
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