i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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