So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
