Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
