i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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