I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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