I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
