also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
