you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I could fuck to npr.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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