dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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