the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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