you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
