Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
