Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
