And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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