She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
