whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
