I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
