haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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