Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize