Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
