I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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