why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
