Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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