Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
