if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
