Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you never un-have a 4some
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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