All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
