Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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