if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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