you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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