these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
