I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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