How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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